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So I've wanted to start a blog for as long as I've known what a blog was. I've even started a few and never posted in them or posted once and then never logged in again. I'd like to say that I have no idea why I have never followed through with it but that would be a lie and I am aiming for this to be a place of truth. The truth is I have lots reasons why I haven't done it. On their own they are each insignificant but when they come together they form a big lump of impossibility. Many of them are the same reasons why I haven't done a lot of things in my life. I am hoping to start here with my little blog about me and move on to all of the other things that I keep avoiding. 

So... reasons why I can never commit to blogging

1: "What will people think?" Oh how that question has ruled my life. I have held back in so many ways because I don't want to be judged by the people around me. If I stay in line and avoid attention then I won't be noticed, I won't be part of their dinner-time conversation. What is the point of having a blog if no one reads it? What if someone does read it? What will they think?

2: I have too much to write. I have so much that I want to get out of me. My thoughts, my dreams, my plans. My mind is always so busy that I have a hard time making it slow down long enough to complete a thought. Even as I type I am writing my next entry in my head.

3: Time. I know that it is a lame, overused excuse but I really don't have the time. I have a million things on my to-do list at any moment and blogging has never made its way to the top. Blogging would fall under the category of "Things I do for me" and that part of the list doesn't start until number 999 998.

4: My Writing Skills. I love to write but I am far from an English major. I don't want to share what I write in case it isn't written well. I don't want someone reading it to be distracted by wrong spellings or poor use of comma's. See reason #1.

5: The Truth. The truth isn't always easy to take. If I am going to have a blog then I want it to be nothing but the truth. I want to be able to write about when a family member is pissing me off or when my marriage is weathering a storm without hurting someone's feelings. I don't want to write something and have it taken out of context. See reason #1

6: It might be good for me. I have a hard time doing what is best for me. I am going to start exercising, reading more, nurturing my relationships, organizing my life... blogging. I am going to start tomorrow. That always seems to be the best day to do things. The trouble is I never catch up with tomorrow. As soon as I get there it has skipped ahead to the next day so I still  have to wait until tomorrow to do that thing I was going to do. It really is a vicious cycle.

I think that mostly sums up my reasons, if I think of more then I will add them. It also sums up my first blog on the first day of Lent. Can I make it all the way to Easter?